30 Comments

I am an atheist and a proponent of good sex education, but in this case my sympathies are with the parents. By not being transparent, the school seems to have created a toxic atmosphere of suspicion and anger, which could have been defused by sharing lesson plans with the parents. As for the original video which kicked this off, I am totally in agreement with Sajjad. It should never have been shown and demonstrates poor judgement on the part of the school. No child is “born in the wrong body”, and primary school children should not be exposed to this un-scientific nonsense. All gender-nonconforming kids should be loved and cherished, not told they really are a member of the opposite sex. Many such children will grow up to be gay adults.

Expand full comment

That video never mentions being "born in the wrong body" or mention bodies at all. It is a child saying how unhappy they were when they "had to be a boy" and how much happier she is now she gets to be called Willa and choose her clothes (after trialing this only inside the home first and the parents seeing how much happier she became). She says it's not a disorder and to listen to trans kids. That's it.

There is a difference between gender non-conforming kids (e.g. a boy who loves dresses and dolls but knows he is a boy and is happy to be called a boy) and trans kids (e.g. a kid who is assigned male but consistently and persistently - often over an entire year or more - says they're a girl, gets really upset when called a boy or he/him, and wants to change their name to a feminine one. They may also prefer feminine clothes but that isn't the thing that makes them trans. Being perceived as a gender different to the one they identify as can be incredibly distressing to a trans child and make them feel miserable. That cannot be said for gender non-conforming children. If anything you see the reverse - a boy who likes dresses but is just gender non-conforming will get upset if he is called a girl.)

Gender specialist doctors can tell the difference between a tomboy and a trans boy, or a feminine boy and a trans girl. They know how gender dysphoria presents in patients and how to diagnose it. They're not foolishly thinking any boy who likes dresses must be trans- that's downplaying their expertise as medical professionals. Yes some gender-nonconforming kids will grow up into gay adults, or even straight adults who aren't trans. But some children will also grow up to be trans adults and ignoring this is ignoring reality. If we want to talk about unscientific nonsense, pretending trans people don't exist is pretty unscientific!

The idea that anyone is telling gender non-conforming kids that they "really are a member of the opposite sex" is nonsense. There isn't some big conspiracy where parents, teachers and doctors are all encouraging or forcing gender-nonconforming kids to be trans.

What is factually true is that trans people exist and every trans adult was once a child. Not a gender-nonconforming child who was tricked into being trans somehow, but a child who would grow up into a trans adult and often knew from childhood that they were a different gender to what they were being told.

There are trans people who grew up never learning about what it means to be trans, never knowing or seeing a trans person, and not having trans-supportive parents or friends... and yet were still trans. There were trans people before the internet and before LGBT+ charities existed. Look up doctor Alan Hart. He had gender affirming surgery in 1917, legally changed his name, and took testosterone. He had to convince doctors to do this for him. Nobody was encouraging him to be trans as that was definitely not a mainstream conversation at the time. This is just one example of many trans people throughout history. So to imply every trans person who has existed were were actually gender non-conforming people who were told they really are a member of the opposite sex is just blatantly and factually wrong.

Expand full comment

Hard not to feel immense sympathy for stretched teachers who are neither paid nor respected enough for this kind of backlash. Drinking a coffee outside, heaven forfend...

Expand full comment

I agree. It's a stressful enough job without being given all this grief. While I think the parents need to know what's being taught, they really should not be present in a classroom. If they need to control exactly what their children learn they can try home schooling.

Expand full comment

As the partner of a trans woman this makes me sad. The stereotypes and hatred towards trans children by these parents is devastating.

Expand full comment

There's no evidence from the article to suggest that the parents hated trans children. They just didn't want their children being shown a video which - from the description - sounds inappropriate for the age group.

Expand full comment

I just watched a video. It's a child saying they told their parents they were really a girl and were really unhappy having to be a boy. She wanted to wear girls clothes so they let her do it in the home to see if it was right for her. She said she felt so much happier so they let her wear the clothes outside the home and go by Willa. She reiterates how happy this made her, says trans kids don't have a disorder, and should be listened to.

I'm really struggling to see how that is inappropriate for any age group. It's simply sharing one child's story in her own words.

And it's not an uncommon story. Every trans adult was at some point a child. The majority of trans people say they knew they were trans before they were 14. Many knew as young as 4 or 5 even if they had never heard the word trans.

Trans people exist. They have always existed with examples all around the globe all throughout history. Why should we act like their existence is taboo or inappropriate for children?

Expand full comment

I'm well aware of the existence of trans people.

I'm not suggesting that we act like their existence is taboo. I just feel that it's inappropriate to discuss such matters with children of primary school age. The time to discuss it is as part of a PHSE programme in high school when they are older and better able to understand and engage with the issue.

Expand full comment

I think the reverse is true. They're going to be much more able to understand and engage with the topic if they aren't hearing about it for the first time in high school. If you learn about it in a simple, easy to understand way when you're young, you can build on that knowledge each year, increasing your understanding over time and having the opportunity to ask questions along the way. Teachers are skilled enough to tailor topics to the level the children are at. You don't need to talk about chromosomes or social constructs or gender variance through history with primary schoolers. But you could explain what the word trans means. You could read a picture book about the topic. You could watch a video like the one of Willa explaining how she feels. And then as they get older you can talk about it in a more complex way. By the time they get to high school they'll be less confused than those who spent their whole childhood learning nothing about it. And maybe they'll be less likely to bully the trans kid in their class - wouldn't that be nice?

Expand full comment

Far better to instil in primary school children the principles of understanding and acceptance of all differences. And that we are all members of the human race.

Then they would be less likely to bully not only the trans kid - but also those with any other perceptible differences such as skin colour, disability, nationality etc etc.

Wouldn't that be nice?

Expand full comment

You can do both of these things. Teaching about being trans should be part of a wider set of lessons about diversity. How can you teach understanding of differences and not explain to kids what those differences are? You'd explain to a kid that some people need wheelchairs because it helps them to get around. You'd teach them that the reason why that person talks differently to them is because they have an accent because they're from another country. You'd teach them that people have different skin colours and hair colours and body types. You'd teach them that some people have gray hair and wrinkles because they are older. You'd teach them some basics of different religious beliefs and why a religious person might wear or do something different to them.

You'd teach them that some men marry men and some women marry women. And you can teach them that some people are trans and what that means. That is just as appropriate a lesson as all the others.

Expand full comment

It would be nice to include acceptance of trans people too.

Expand full comment

Yes, this would help make everyone kinder to people.

Expand full comment

Totally agree,. Trans kids exist and they need support. It is "age appropriate to do so. .

Expand full comment

Parents should be allowed to know what their children are being taught. They should be allowed to sit in if troubled. If the lessons are age appropriate then the school has nothing to fear.

The school should be open and transparent like other government departments.

Expand full comment

Sometimes kids need to know stuff that their parents won't tell them. I think the video was not age-appropriate (at that age sex Ed only needs to cover the fact that the animal kingdom is made up of male and female) but parents sitting in on lessons? Really bad idea. And massive WhatsApp groups full of people fuelling animosity is really unhelpful.

Expand full comment

Totally agree.

Expand full comment

Yep, massive WhatsApp groups like that don't help anyone or anything.

Expand full comment

Treating the existence of trans people as inappropriate to talk about with children is transphobia because it implies the topic is harmful, sexual, or morally corruptive. It isn't. The schools have already said that they are not teaching sex ed. I just watched the Willa video. It is a short and easy to follow video of a child telling their story about how they were sad until their parents let them choose their clothes and name (only at home at first, then outside the home once they realised how happy it made her) and now she's much happier. She think parents should listen to trans kids and not call it a disorder. That's it. Yet the parents in the protest said teachers were "sexualising" children, saying they were being shown "graphic" and "inappropriate" material. Signs have the word "safeguard" on it (a word usually used to refer to the process of keeping children safe from harm). All of this makes it clear they think even talking about trans topics or showing a video of a trans child sharing their story is somehow sexual or dangerous... when it clearly isn't. Implying otherwise is transphobia pure and simple. If the problem they had was that they thought the topic was simply too confusing for them at that age, they wouldn't have said the teachers were sexualising children etc.

Something tells me that any discussion at all about trans people would be viewed as inappropriate by these parents.

But trans people exist. That is a simple fact. There is evidence of trans (including non-binary) people existing all around the globe, all throughout history. The latest census had 1% of people in England and Wales identifying as trans, which means if you have 400 kids in a primary school, statistically 4 of them will realise they are trans at some point in their lives. 75% of secondary school teachers say they have taught a trans student. So schools need to be ensuring schools are safe and accepting places for these students.

Trans people experience high levels of discrimination in the UK. Hate crimes against them are at an all time high. The Stonewall school report found that 64% of trans pupils in the UK have been bullied for being LGBT. 81% of trans young people avoid situations due to fear. 25% of trans people have experienced homelessness, and according to AKT, 77% of LGBT+ young people gave "family rejection, abuse, or being asked to leave home" as a cause of their homelessness.

We should want better for trans people than that, especially young people. But nothing will change if we don't teach the next generation. They should know what trans means, and that it's okay to be trans in the same way they should be taught what gay means and that it's okay to be gay. It shouldn't be treated as taboo or inappropriate. We have moved on from section 28.

Expand full comment

Labelling people as transphobic because they don’t believe in the same things you believe in is not helpful. No child can change sex and promoting a false belief in primary school children is reprehensible. Not sure why you are equating this with Section 28 and homophobia. Believing you are “trans” is not the same as discovering your sexuality.

We know that many children who question their gender are autistic, nearly all have other psychological problems that need addressing, half will turn out to be lesbian or homosexual, and most will grow comfortable with their bodies as puberty takes its course and they learn to accept themselves.

Suggest people read Hannah Barnes book, “Time to Think”, to get a better understanding of the reality of “trans” children and their needs.

Expand full comment

A teacher showed a video of a trans child talking about how they are happier now they are allowed to choose their clothes and name. That video was obviously not sexual and the school confirmed no sex ed is happening. But the parents said showing the video is "sexualising children" and "graphic materials" and "inappropriate" and that the children need to be "safeguarded" from it.

Implying that non-sexual discussions and lessons with children about being trans is the same as sexualising them IS transphobia.

If a video was shown of a child talking about their experiences being Muslim, and parents said the video was "inappropriate" and "graphic" and "sexualising children" despite there being nothing sexual in the video, we would call that Islamophobia.

If a video was shown of a child talking about how they feel being disabled and and parents said the video was "inappropriate" and "graphic" and "sexualising children" despite there being nothing sexual in the video, we would call that ableism.

And yes, parents used to say any mention of being gay in the classroom was inappropriate and sexual when it wasn't. That was homophobia.

If you think the only person who can be called transphobic is someone who outright says "I hate trans people" then you're wrong. Transphobia covers a range of negative attitudes and behaviors towards trans people. Just like homophobia can be more than just saying "I hate gay people" and racism can be more than saying you hate people of a particular race.

Of course discovering you are trans is different to discovering your sexual orientation. The comparison to section 28 is obviously not to say there is zero difference between the two. There are differences between racism, sexism, ableism, ageism, anti-semitism, Islamophobia, and many other kinds of prejudice too. They can all manifest in different ways. But they are all covered by the same Equality Act to acknowledge they are forms of discrimination.

The comparison to section 28 is that the reason why that came about is because people "just had different beliefs" and "just had concerns" and "just didn't think it was right to teach children about" gay people. The vast majority of British people surveyed at the time thought it was always or mostly always wrong to be gay. Only 11% said it's always okay to be gay. Those attitudes led to it being seen as something that shouldn't be talked about in school. And they too thought non-sexual discussions about gay people were inappropriate and sexual when they weren't. There was outcry over a book where a child lived with her dad and his boyfriend. But times have changed, attitudes have changed, and we now see that section 28 was harmful to gay people. We now know that picture book wasn't sexual, and that children can be taught about the existence of gay people in age appropriate ways that have nothing to do with sex (obviously). Equally, any calls to ban non-sexual discussions of trans people in schools by calling it inappropriate, sexual, or harmful is similar to how lessons on gay people were talked about in the section 28 days. It was wrong then with gay topics, and it's wrong now with trans topics.

No child can change sex, but they can very easily choose their clothes and change their name and pronouns. They can be accepted if they want to explore their gender identity and expression in these ways. And some will figure out they aren't trans, and some will figure out they are.

And if a child can access gender specialist doctors including psychiatrists, they have the expertise to diagnose if they really have gender dysphoria or if it is something else. If it's something else that's fine

But if it is gender dysphoria that's also fine. Medical experts in this field are the ones to make those calls, not random people without expertise. But anyone assuming that ALL trans people are actually just people with other mental health issues, or autism, or have been tricked or convinced to be trans is simply wrong. That is denying the existence of trans people who have always been around all throughout history and all around the world. That is denying all the research into trans healthcare and all the major medical orgs who understand it. That would be a ridiculous thing to claim.

Expand full comment

I know you feel strongly about this. I’m a medical doctor. As I said, read the book about the Tavistock Clinic - Time to Think, by Hannah Barnes. Also read the Interim Cass Review.

Expand full comment

Yes I do feel strongly about a completely non-sexual video of a child being referred to as "sexualising children", "graphic content", "inappropriate" and something to "safeguard" children against. Why don't you have a problem with that?

Expand full comment

I understand that it was the video that triggered concern about the rest of the PSE content.

Expand full comment

This is a classic example of the increasing lack of nuance in our society, particularly amongst the "devout".

Expand full comment

A classic example of a teacher doing their own thing and causing a massive backlash from parents. Once trust is lost, parents will start believing all kinds of nonsense put about by motivated outsiders. A lot of hard work to put right. And those of us who work in other schools often get the backwash.

Expand full comment

scaremongering intolerance and vigilanteism from the parents and hapless communication from the school. Boom.

Expand full comment

actually that’s unfair of me - it’s not really clear from the article what efforts the school have made to deal with the situation.

Expand full comment

A petition started up at my daughter’s school around related issues, and the school directed everyone concerned to the consultation around RSE materials. I haven’t heard anything since so I really hope that’s the end of it.

Expand full comment